The eye of newt was mustard seed with reconstituted (uncooked) tapioca. The rat intestines were red onion relish. And the cat brains were really pickled cauliflower. The garlic oil really was garlic oil. And no, the apples weren't really poisoned.
I've been eating the onion relish since 11/1, and it's sooooo gooooood. Nom. I'm not an onion fan, but I love me this relish. I first saw the recipe in Cottage Living (rest it's magazine soul) but you can find it here. I gave my parents a jar of each, but my mom was skeptical of the whole intestines thing. Brains apparently were ok.
|poisoned apples, rat intestine relish, cat brain pickles, garlic oil|
2 heads cauliflower (I used orange, it seemed to hold its color well)
10 cups white vinegar
3 cups sugar
3 cups water
2 Tbsp sweet pickling spice (or hot pickling spice if you dare)
1/8 tsp turmeric (for that creepy yellow glow)
Combine the vinegar, sugar and water in a big pot over med/high heat. While that warms up, make packets out of your pickling spice. I wrapped mine up in a couple of paper muffin liners. Add the spices and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and let the flavors mingle for 15-20 minutes.
Cut up the cauliflower into chunks, making it look as much like brain cross sections as possible. Be creative. Pack the cauliflower tightly into sterilized jars. Add the liquid to cover. Process jars as desired.